Stop Explaining Yourself!

Are you uncomfortable in silence? You are not alone!

In my discomfort I find myself explaining why. Why did I do what I just did? Why did I say what I just said? The desire to explain why was ingrained into me (and I am sure into you as well) through my schooling – elementary school, high school, university, movies, tv shows etc. Giving answers to questions was encouraged and required for a ‘good grade’. There were ‘right’ answers and ‘wrong’ answers, where ‘right’ was praised and ‘wrong’ was punished.

Now, several decades later, I am being stopped by police (one of my car’s back lights was not working) and find myself explaining everything I do or say. This is EXACTLY what our ‘officials’ are looking for. Which is why they are required to read the Miranda rights to anyone who gets arrested: “You have the right to remain silent…”. They do that because the more a man or woman talks, the more likely are they to self-incriminate, to say something that can be ‘used against them in a court of law”. Remember, policemen have body cameras.

I have since become aware of my need to explain myself and have been releasing the emotional baggage behind it. The next time I am stopped by police I will be silent unless a brief conversation is needed. Today I know many of the things I can say without self-incrimination and I am learning more every day. Awareness is the first step to healing.

So, do yourself a favor and hold your tongue. A conversation pause can be very enlightening. After all, silence is golden.