This is one of my own Inner Guide Meditations that i recently experienced. You can learn more about me in the ‘About’ section, or contact me if you would like to experience a session with me.
With my inner guide I follow the feel of the black hole that I always experience when offering a subset of services to my customers. The hole is deep and black and heavy. Darkness surrounds me. On the very bottom of this hole I can see a little girl, about nine years old, huddled over forward, rocking back and forth, mumbling. I get closer to make out what she is saying and I hear “I’m not good enough” over and over and over, like a mantra. Now I stand in front of her, asking “Is this really true?”. She looks up to me, eyes wet with tears. I get a glimpse of past experiences that got her here. Experiences that mowed her down when she expressed herself freely. Experiences that made her come to the conclusion that “she is not good enough” and that expressing herself is dangerous. Simple, everyday experiences, like other kids laughing at her in a classroom.
As unhappy as the girl is in this dark hole, when I ask her to leave with me, she recoils. After the years she has been here, this is a safe space for her. Not offering her gifts to others comes with the advantage to never get rejected, ever. There is a certain kind of comfort in this state of being.
i point out to her the wonders she could be experiencing right now, the wonders of the meadow that is just visible on the very top of the hole. I point at the butterflies that are occasionally flying by, the birdsong we can faintly hear, the sweet smells of the flowers that are visible. I also tell her that it is her choice to either go up there and play, or to stay down here and wallow in pity. She dries her eyes, then reaches out her hand and I help her up. As we leave the black hole, it shrinks away under her big left toe and is quickly gone. The girl now sits in the meadow, looking around, mesmerized by the colors and sounds and smells that surround her. I now watch from afar how she gets up to smell the flowers, observes an insect and finally jumps around in joy. Here I leave her to go back to my meditation seat, satisfied with the outcome.
Try your own Inner World Exploration! If you don’t know where to start, let me help. I offer sessions where I guide you on your journey. If you really don’t feel up for it yourself, I can go into your inner world for you. I have done this many times, it is safe and can be very illuminating.