Last week, a friend of mine died. It was rather sudden, and it has made me contemplate life deeply, while coming to grips with this loss.
First I berated myself for not having been the perfect friend to him that I believe to be capable of. Now looking at the sweet messages on his obituary website, I realize that – no matter what you believe about yourself – you simply don’t know what influence you have on other people. There is an outpouring of love for him on that funeral home website, which I also got from his friends that I talk about his passing. With his gentle demeanor he genuinely cared for and helped others wherever he could. He was frustrated by what he believed was ‘being ineffective in having an impact on the world’, when he clearly had touched so many people.
I admire that he lived by his principles ever day. He was extremely dependable and ended up taken advantage of too many times, was disappointed every time it happened, yet still, the next contract was made by handshake again instead of on paper. He always was true to his word, even if the other party was not.
I did my best to show him where he kept hurting himself when helping others. I did my best to help him see where he believed he was not enough. I did my best to help him appreciate himself just for who he was. Beliefs like these that are held for decades are hard to overcome, and I really hope that he can see things a bit clearer now that he is no longer burdened by a worldly existence.
Death is part of life, we all know that this life, this body, is only temporary. Our society sometimes forgets that. HOW we live makes all the difference. Seeing how quickly death can come, I appreciate life more thoroughly now and I encourage you to do the same! This week I have cleaned up my life plans for the next decade, living every day as fully as I can.
Here is a good exercise:
Imagine yourself on your death bed. What regrets do you have? What did you want to accomplish, experience, cherish? What beliefs or habits would you like to have had or would you have liked to get rid of?
This is not an easy exercise, but it is powerful in separating the important things from the unimportant. Once you have figured out what you want and don’t want in your life, move on it! Awareness is a great first step, but to make a difference it needs to be followed by action.
